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I don't know what to say
06.11.05 (1:57 am)   [edit]
I am for the most part an optimistic person. I have faith in the majority of humanity. I believe most people mostly mean to do good most of the time. But there are times where I turn sour inside and shake my head in disgust so furiously that I'd do better to take it of lest I decapitate myself.

I do not believe in unquestioningly and unconditionally doing good all the time at all levels of activity from large to small. It's foolish to serve others without any expectation of renumeration - how can you help others if you do not first help yourself? But sometimes people can be so simply selfish and thoughtless.

The context to these statements are far too personal for me to share with you so that you may make connection with what I am trying to say. But I will say this: there is a gross lack of basic decency in our culture these days.

I do not wish for any return to some idea of conduct in days long past. I do not idolize the way things once were. I believe that the way we have progressed is more open and honest in some ways. Words don't hurt me actions do. I just wish merely that people spared a thought for others.

Just three months ago I found my tires slashed to the point of uselessness, and so did some other occupants in my apartment building. I still hear of people having fits of near-death rage from the computer problems they are having because of adware, spyware and viruses. Some few weeks ago I read of an old lady being robbed. And just last week my friend was verbally abused by a customer who couldn't comprehend that when machines break down there is just nothing one can do.

I realize that decency is something vague, something that can be interpreted variously by people, something that can be interpreted variously even when only one case is involved (e.g. Shiavo). But there are some very simple scenarios where decency is easily defined. Is it decent to rob someone? Of course not, no matter what your circumstances may be. But then I think a step futher: what if the economy were disastrously bad, and I could not despite my best efforts find a job, and if I had small mouths to feed? Decency, if meditated on further and further, seems to me to be forever mobile from case to case.

Whatever the end will bring, whatever the circumstance may be, I think I can succinctly express myself by quoting C3PO from Star Wars: I'm so confused.