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Zipper Down Trodden Heart
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| What wrong with Jongleur? What has Juniper so fluxed? |
| 08.13.05 (2:39 am) [edit] |
It happened on tblurt, and it was so stupid. And I'm left with one question: What the fucking hell?
It just so happens that Kupov, Goins, Daytripper and I share an appreciation for bawdy humor. And to another observer who walks in halfway into the conversation plenty might seem wrong.
We were talking about so many different things, randomly moving from one topic to the other. The conversation then came to a comparison of male and female anatomy - namely, penises and breasts.
It got to the point of us talking about Daytripper taking a picture of her breasts and posting it on her blog. I don't even remember who brought it up - I think it was Day - but whoever it was, the conversation was in the spirit of humor. At least it [i]was [/i]humorous until The Jongleur and Juniperflux joined in and started swinging their sabres at us from atop their high horses.
Yes, we [i]know [/i]bullying young girls into exposing herself on the internet is wrong. You don't need to tell us that. But it's a conversation between friends, and we were messing around. In fact, as I remember it, the conversation mostly involved Goins, Kupov and me messing around and being idiots amongst ourselves. At that time, I remember worrying perhaps we were leaving Day out of the conversation. But whatever the details, we were all joking and having fun, and to make that certain and unambiguous, I sent a tMail to Daytripper telling her not to do it.
Perhaps some will say, "Well, it's still improper to have such indecent and risque conversation with minors."
Well, fuck you. I didn't realize Kupov was 14 until after very long. And before that we were making stupid sexual jokes and messing with each other. When I found out he was only 14, the thought did occur to me that maybe I shouldn't speak so freely with him, but that would just be silly. It was fun messing around with him when I didn't know he was a minor, and it's still fun when I did. And guess what, I don't have any evil sexual intentions towards the guy.
And the same applies to Daytripper. When I found out she was 16 I was the one who first brought up the fact that she was "jail bait" and we probably shouldn't be talking about sex. But guess what? The bawdy humor we enjoy (e.g "chaka bow wow") involves sex. I don't intend to bed the girl, she's 16 for the love of god...
I've never had sex with a minor nor do I intend to. The youngest a girl with whom I've had sexual relations has been was 19 - and I was 14.
And I suppose you're going to tell me that there should be no sexual talk between us? Well sieg heil but nein mein feuhrer! The girl's just lost her virginity and she's curious. I've given her advice not to let guys pressure her into doing it if she doesn't feel obliged. I've even told her that was too young and should slow down - something that I thought was prudish. I will not stop talking to her about it if she asks. A young woman should gather as much information and learn as much as she can before she ventures any further into sex.
There's only one thing I can say: FUCK YOU. I FEEL NO GUILT BECAUSE THERE WAS NOTHING TO FEEL GUILTY FOR. YEARS OF CATHOLIC REPRESSION SCREWED ME UP, SO HELP ME GOD IF FRIENDLY BANTER HELPS A YOUNG LADY LEARN MORE ABOUT MEN AND WHAT UGLINESS THERE IS IN THE WORLD, I'M GONNA FUCKING DO IT.
POINT YOUR FINGER AT ME ALL YOU WANT; THERE'S THREE MORE OF YOUR FINGERS POINTING RIGHT BACK AT YOUR IDIOCY.
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| Overheard in an IHOP Late Wednesday |
| 08.10.05 (11:19 pm) [edit] |
A Disturbing Conversation My Ear Stole from Two Girls While I Was Very Decently Trying My Best to Mind My Own Gosh-Darned Business:
- The freakiest thing happened last weekend.
- What?
- I walked in on my dad in the bathroom
- *gasp* No shit, shut up!!!
- Oh my god yes...
- And... ?
- It was so freaky.
- Was there like a huge empty span of silence?
- Oh yeah...
- Was there an overwhelming sensation of awkwardness?
- Oh yeah... he is hung like horse
- *silence*
- Like a horse. It had to have been maybe at least nine inches. And it wasn't even hard yet. Like a baby's arm holding a small red ball.
- *silence*
- Dude, say something...
- Aren't you even slightly disturbed?
- Dude... it's my dad. Okay... maybe if he wasn't my dad I'd totally do him, but... he's my dad... yeah...
- *silence*
- Oh come on... he's hot... for an older man...
- *silence*
- Dude... you know you'd do him too... if you had the chance... and if I had no way of finding out... if you ever come on to my dad I'll kick your ass hard and leave a shoe in it.
- Oh please...
- *silence*
- I'd never... honest.
- *silence*
- Hey... your brother's not seeing anyone though, right?
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| Self-Antonyms: Single Words that Have Two Opposite Meanings |
| 08.10.05 (12:13 am) [edit] |
cleave means "to join" (as in "cleave unto") and "to separate or divide"
inoculate means "to protect against" and "to infect with"
cull means "to select" and "to reject"
alight means "to settle onto" and "to dismount from"
fix means "to solve" and "a problem"
screen means "to display" (a movie) and "to hide" (his view)
oversight means a kind of error, and a kind of prevention from error
snap means "to break into pieces" and "to fasten together"
weather means "to disintegrate or wear" and "to come through safely, survive"
[I noticed that in some instances it was a noun and a verb that were antonyms in concept. I wonder if that counts. Don't ask me where I got this from. I don't remember.]
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| 08.09.05 (11:42 am) [edit] |
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